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APRIL AUDIO FOOLS, Pt. 2
Concert Reports (from actual college student review assignments)


* The performance was formal. The conductor bowed before most of the time.
* The concert started with the Coriolan Overture by Beethoven. The music was slower and seemed dark. There were often spots where dissidence dominated the song.
* I was truly able to understand the appreciate the hard work that the choral precipitants put into preparing for this concert.
* The men's voices were deep and constant during part and the ladies' voices were coming through in brief exerts.
* The seats were packed on this night. [One ensemble] sounded out of practice sometimes when some performers would chime in too early, or chime out noticeably late.
* When I arrived the band was warming up. When they were warm a single oboe player walked out...
* It was a first for both of us to experience live jazz music. It was a family atmosphere with an exception of one naked drunk, but that's expected anywhere, right?
* The audience varied from young families with toddlers running around to old couples. There were even some alternative people enjoying the show.
* They were arranged with the percussion in the back, brass were in front of them, then the woodwinds, and then the string instrument were in the front of the stqge. In the front center, was the pulpit for the conductor.
* This concert was definitely more than what I planned to expect. I laughed and awed.
* [The soloist] was dressed in black paints and a bright yellow shirt with flowers on it.
* I sat in the balcony so that I could look down on the performers...
* [Referring to the tuba in the orchestra] I had never seen an upright sousaphone before.
* The second piece was the Trumpet Concerto in E-flat by Haydn...According to the program this piece was extremely new when it was first composed.
* The main section involved in the this piece was the brass section. The trumpets would play interchangeably with the muffling bell stuffers.
* They kept the crowd involved in the concert by making them clap along with the music...
* The stage was set with the conductor's back to the audience, and the members of the orchestra curved around the edges...
* [The song by the Gospel Choir] was slightly different in that they swayed whatever way they wanted and added lib when they wanted to.
* The audience mainly consisted of older people who were casually wearing their shorts and tennis shoes.
* Dr. B played the piano and her husband Dr. B played both the saxophone and the soprano saxophone. Both instruments were of equal importance. One instrument could not survive without the other.
* I also liked the surprise piece...I think the title was Burglar's Holiday.
* The third piece by Shubert was long and dramatic. It seemed to go on forever. Oddly though, this piece was unfinished. Therefore, it was ironic that it seemed to go on and on.
* Though I could not relate to the pieces that were being played I found myself actually bopping my head and tapping my feet to them.
* On November 24, 1998, I attended the Symphonic Orchestra fall concert at the Brooks Center. The Brooks Center Auditorium was packed with a delightful audience. * The types of rhythms, strokes, dynamics, and usage of the symbols created that Latin dance style which would make some of the people around me pat their feet or swing their legs (if crossed).
* [Handel's Water Music] makes you want to dance a little jug.
* [Women's Glee] This sound was a bright, less mature sound. I think a good women's piece is hard to find.
* [The Concert Band] also played two contemporary pieces.. .I was full of dissonance. * The one I liked the most was the Waltz: If You Would Ever Be Mine. I recognized the piece but couldn't put a name on it.
* I like [Hoedown] because it made me feel like rustling up some cattle and eating a big juicy steak.
* New music does not have the same timeless qualities as what we traditionally consider the classics. I do think it was good however, for the conductor to introduce us to new music like this, rather than just stinking to the same old things.
* The stage was set with a piano, guitar and the bass drum in the back center; the saxophones were on their right front; the trumpets and trombones were on the left fromt; and the conductor's stand was dead in the front center.
* My favorite piece was "Tango Solitaria." Claudio wrote this and it was odious that he loved every minute of playing this song.
* Another song I liked was the Suite from Water Music [arr. by Harty]. It was neat because it started off by using the instruments that the piece was originally composed for...This made the music actually sound like the musicians were playing underwater.
* The musicians seemed very prepared and well-rehearsed. They were all wearing either tuxedos or a black dress, depending on their gender.
* The trumpets are blaring. The saxophones and trombones are whaling.
* [Regarding a string quartet] The stage was set up in a simple manner with four chairs in a semi-circle with four music stands in front of each chair.
* The auditorium was very nice and I was impressed with the lighting and atmosphere, maybe because my boyfriend is an electrician.
* The Haydn piece [string quartet] was nice, but not very moving or memorable. I understand that that is one characteristic of classical music . . .
* [The string quartet]'s energy was overwhelming, so powerful in fact, that two of the four broke strings on their boughs.
* When the performance was over there was a reception with cookies and juice in which the audience could mingle with the performers.
* Overall, I found the concert wonderful. I have not seen many orchestras other than the [local professional] Orchestra so I was very impressive.
* Promptly at 8pm the [members of the piano trio] entered the stage. Three men dressed in penguins suits...oh wait, a lady? There are four of them? I later realized the lady was not the Trio's go-go girl, but there to help the piano player with the turning of his music.
* The musicians instilled a suffering to the work that made you feel as if you were suffering yourself.
* As the concert continued, the Concertino and Brandenburg Concert No. 4 pieces became long and winded to an inexperienced classical music listener.
* There were a number of students [in the audience], and I think most of them sat in the balcony. They were very well behaved, which surpised me, because I knew a few of them.
* The concert in my opinion was a great success for many of reason.
* I went to the Jazz Ensemble Concert Friday night...The place was full of people aging from very young to old.
* The conductor stood on a slightly elevated platform and wore a black tuxedo. The musicians wore black tuxedos or dresses depending on whether the person was male or female. (Males wore the tuxedos).
* I was extremely impressed by the musicians' appearances and their performances did nothing to expel my expectations.
* Observing from the audience I saw many things that the musicians did to keep on track of the music. One noticeable thing was the taping of the musicians feet to stay on beat.
* I wasn't sure what to expect. I was surprised to hear a wide variety of music from all over the world, including different ethnics.
* The ensemble played their instruments after each main verse was completed. This took skill and had to take a lot out of their lungs.
* The fifth piece, English Fold Song Suite, well, was defiantly English.
* [The piano soloist] played with such grace and style it was if she were gently pawing the keys.
* If [the string quartet] had been a larger group, they would have needed a conductor to be the leader and visual aid. However, with such a small group, they did not kneed one.
* The auditorium was decorated with three tapestries [acoustical banners] hanging from each side of the left and right walls. The mustered yellow tapestry caught my attention as it stuck out from the rest. As I was walking up to the Theater, I noticed a lot of elderly people. They were everywhere...I thought I had entered the Lawrence Welk Twilight Zone.
* Then it became polyphonic as the choir broke up into three parts and sang overlapping one another.
* Although the concert was long it didn't seem to be that long. I also liked the way the pieces were different. They were not all banging on the piano, or music that would put you to sleep, they were a good combination of the two.
* Right away I recognized Finlandia by Sibelius and thought it provided for a grand finnish.
* Although this concert did not follow the regular concert pattern, I liked it very much. I felt that the conductor did a wonderful job keeping the audience interested and exploiting his performers.
* One odd thing that struck me was that most of the orchestra was female... It did nothing to subtract from the quality of the concert, however.
* There were many works and each of them were their own length.
* The amount of lung power needed to play the flute is incredible but I think well worth it.
* One thing that I did find funny about the conductors [of the choirs] was that they acted like a host or hostist from The Price Is Right showing off a new car after each song was completed.
* ...and the Chamber Singers used several percussion instruments to add an African flare to one of the spirituals they performed.
* The conductor stood front-center of the singers and alternated between a man and a woman.
* I enjoyed certain parts of this concert and had to bare the other parts.
* When I walked into the auditorium it was breath taking. I had a great sit too, row K sit 101...The room still had a new smell to it when I walked in, but that quickly changed after a couple of women sat down in front of me.
* The performance was much better than I expected and I'm actually glad that we are required to go to these performances because now I know what I am missing.
* The person next to me kept taping his foot to the beat of the music!
* I'm glad I chose to attend the viola concert of Wednesday night...I realize the more music I subject myself to, the more I may realize I like music.
* As [the pianist] approached the climax of the piece, he became engrossed into the piano.
* Once [the string quartet] started to play I was shocked at how much they moved around in the chairs. They were not just playing the music they were felling the music through their whole bodies.
* The screaming child, whom I'm sure everyone was annoyed by, unfortunately happened to be sitting directly behind me. The child must have been bored and decided to explore. His head got caught underneath the seat next to me where my friend was sitting. The little boy started screaming and that made everything worse. A man who apparently worked with the concert seemed to increase the noise. I'm sure he was trying to solve the situation but he really handled it all wrong. He dove on the floor in front of my seat, screamed at the scared boy, and literally dragged him out of the auditorium. All of this was going on in the middle of the performance, but the women on stage didn't seem to notice and went on with the piece as usual.

- Thanks to Andrew Levin - alevin@clemson.edu


You know how people are always making fun of the viola. Well, we're told that there is a whole category of violist jokes. Here's just a couple:

A violist decides to go on vacation and buys a jig-saw puzzle to while away the time.
When he gets back, he calls the jig-saw puzzle company, quite excited and proud of himself. "It took me only 3 days to put it together," he announces. After a stunned silence, the company's operator says, "So?" "Well," says the violist, "it says '5-7 years' on the box."

Two violists become pilots. The come in for a landing. One is at the controls and other is lowering the flaps. The landing is unusally difficult and after they are finally down the violist at the controls says. This runway is awful short!" The other one answers, "yah but it sure is wide." **

** Thanks to Bob Newhart

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